雅思作文怎么做到语言多样（词汇量少如何写好雅思作文）

怎样删除好友的空间说说 【英语写作】如何删掉中国人写的雅思作文中的废话

我在weibo上看到了一份9分雅思作文图片分享，但看着怎么也不像9分，充斥着各种错误和废话。

句子1

原文Many people, and children in particular, enjoy playing computer games.

修改后Many people, children in particular, enjoy playing computer games.

修改原因这里的and应该省略掉，我们用谷歌来验证一下，的确没有and，因为确实不是并列结构，而是一种类似同位语的成分。

句子2

原文While I accept that these games can sometimes have a positive effect on the user, I believe that they are more likely to have a harmful impact.

修改后Though these games can influence players somewhat positively, I still believe that harmful effects prevail.

修改原因如果两个分句是并列句，主语更好保持一致，这样比较顺畅。如果两个分句不是并列句，第二个小句子的宾语从句harmful effects prevail主语改为harmful effects则效果更好，强调的点不同。前面讲有时会积极影响，后面说有害影响才更胜一筹。

Prevail用得比原句子好多了。Prevail表示占上风例如?--Justice will prevail over tyranny. 正义必将战胜暴虐。--Fortunately, common sense prevailed. 幸而理智占了上风。

句子3

重复是英语大忌，一个意思只能说一次。

原文It is true that foreign films are more popular in many countries than domestically produced films. There could be several reasons why this is the case, and I believe that governments should promote local film-making by subsidizing the industry.

改后In many countries, foreign films are more popular than domestic films. To address this problem, the government should subsidize the local film-making industry.

修改原因There are several reasons why this is the case为什么是废话？几乎所有的问题都有好几个原因，你这个句子说了和没说没区别，第二段直接又说有好几个原因，重复了。Why this is the case就像外婆的裹脚布又臭又长。

进一步润色/换一种说法

#34In numerous countries, the preference for foreign films over domestic films is prevalent. To tackle this issue, it is suggested that the government provide subsidies to bolster the local film-making industry.#34

句子4

这些句子还是来自微博上的某个博主晒的图片，号称9分雅思作文模板，但错漏百出，6分还差不多。我读过好多人晒出的所谓的高分句型和模板，都是中式英语，但他们自己意识不到，缺乏语感。

原文lt is sometimes argued that tourists from overseas should be charged more than local residents to visit important sites and monuments. l completely disagree with this idea.

修改后It is sometimes argued that overseas tourists should be charged more than domestic ones when visiting cultural and historical attractions. I fully reject this notion.

修改说明

1. It is sometimes argued that这个句式是很常见的，表示有人说，不用改。

2. tourists from overseas是三个单词，overseas tourists 是两个单词，显然后者比前者简洁。

3. 这里既然提出了外国游客，对应的就是国内游客，作文却偷换了概念，把国外游客和当地居民形成了对比，那别的省的中国游客呢？

4. I completely disagree with this idea可以用，但这个表达烂大街了吧，英语里有这个说法，口头语说一下还可以。书面语，要更为正式。可以改为I fully reject this notion.

进一步润色/换一种说法

Version 1

There is a common argument that foreign tourists should pay more than domestic visitors when visiting cultural and historical attractions. However, I think otherwise.

Version 2

There is a frequent claim that when visiting cultural and historical attractions, foreign visitors ought to pay more than domestic ones. I reject this notion, though.

句子5

原文The argument in favor of higher prices for foreign tourists would be that cultural or historical attractions often depend on state subsidies to keep them going, which means that the resident population already pays money to these sites through the tax system.

修改Proponents of higher prices for international tourists argue that since cultural or historical attractions operate with subsidies from the national government, domestic visitors can pay less as theyhave already paid taxes, which are often the source of these subsidies.

修改说明

1.怎样写英语最简洁流畅？要找到句子的主语谁，做，了什么？主语，谓语，宾语。不要一上来就the argument，上来就把主语找错了，句子就又臭又长。主语是赞同向外国游客高收费的人proponent就是支持者，支持某个观点的人。

2.英文喜欢多样化，不要整篇文章上来就overseas visitors，然后全篇不变，第二次出现你可以说international tourists，再一次出现可以说foreigners。这是英语更大的特点，避免单一表达，要多样化。有的人说那个术语要统一，但这不是论文，这是作文。作文英文不喜欢重复，如果能多样化，就要保持作文中用词的多样化，避免单一一个劲用一个词。

3.把定语从句放在句子的次要位置。定语从句不是句子的主干，是句子的修饰成分，表达次要信息，原文的定语从句部分which means that 后的句子恰恰是这个句子的最主要信息，主次颠倒。不要把主要信息放在定语从句中，要放在句子的主干，定语从句要表达句子中次要的信息，例如修改后的which are often the source of these subsidies明显是次要信息。

今天白癜风网小编的经验很简单。

之一，找对主语，主语没找对句子恐怕要晦涩难懂。

第二，要将句子的主干信息放在主句，将次要信息放在定语从句和状语从句，不要主次颠倒。

第三，英文表达要多样化。

句子6

原句In my opinion, men and women should have the same educational opportunities. However, I do not agree with the idea of accepting equal proportions of each gender in every university subject.

改后Men and women shall enjoy equal educational opportunities. However, we should not admit 50% male students and 50% female ones for every major at university.

1. In my opinion就是作文里的废话，因为这篇作文所有的观点都是你的观点，对不对？如果是别人说的，你就会说是谁说的，谁的观点，如果不说，那所有的观点都应该是my opinion。所以，In my opinion, I think, I believe都是英语作文里更大的废话。

2. 把话说明白，不要在那绕圈，觉得自己英文写的蛮不错，什么破玩意，不是中国人都看不懂，全是中文的逻辑。the idea of accepting equal proportions of each gender in every university subject 这逻辑老外要想半天才知道你要说什么。你自己觉得蛮不错，自己讲明白了，你从读者老外角度考虑下他看懂了吗？

3.一想到不同意就来I do not agree with the idea，思维要转换了。

进一步润色/换一种说法

It is vital to provide equal educational opportunities for both men and women. However, when it comes to university admissions, allocating 50% of spots to male students and 50% to female students may not be the most effective approach for every major.

句子7

原句子Some people believe that we should not help people in other countries as long as there are problems in our own society. 1 disagree with this view because I believe that we should try to help as many people as possible.

改后Some argue that we should not assist people in other countries as we have our own problems as well, but I think otherwise because everyone in need in this world deserves our help.

修改说明

1.Some people believe that 不如some argue that 简洁，少一个词，为读者减一份负担，读者会觉得你废话比较少，实在人，不是凑字数。

2. As long as 是错误的表达，as long as 意思是只要，只要和句子意思配不上。句子想说因为我们有自己问题，不应该帮助外国人。

3.Think otherwise表示我有不同意见。而我见到的这份号称雅思9分作文的图片里每次都说I do not agree with the idea，确实不是老外写的作文，老外不喜欢一个表达反复用。

进一步润色/换一种说法

While some argue that we should prioritize solving issues within our own society without reaching out to help people in other countries, I hold a different perspective. It is crucial to extend support to as many people as possible, both within our own communities and beyond. Focusing solely on our internal problems may hinder progress and overlook the suffering of those outside of our borders. By working towards creating positive change on a global scale, we can cultivate a more compassionate and connected world.

句子8

原句On the one hand, I accept that it is important to help our neighbors and fellow citizens. In most communities, there are people who are impoverished or disadvantaged in some way. It is possible to find homeless people, for exle, in even the wealthiest of cities, and for those who are concerned about this problem, there are usually opportunities to volunteer time or give money to support these people.

修改后I acknowledge the significance of helping people in need in other countries. Sure enough, there are many impoverished or disadvantaged people in need of help around the world. Even in the wealthiest of cities, we may find homeless beggars. That’s why some volunteers and philanthropists devote their time and money to supporting these wretched people.

修改说明

1.On the one hand要注意区别中文的一方面。中文的一方面可以单独使用，但英文on the one hand 必然要和on the other hand成对出现，更好离得近一些。也就是一说只用on the one hand，看不到On the other hand都是耍流氓。

2.It is important to help这个是口语里经常用的，作文是书面语，不如acknowledge the significance of helping

3.慎重使用there be +定语从句的句式。这是最垃圾的句式。比如原文里写there are people who are impoverished or disadvantaged in some way。你想写的不过是总有一些穷人对吧。不如把定语从句直接拉到前面做定语There are impoverished or disadvantaged people。

4.for those who are concerned about this problem, there are usually opportunities to volunteer time or give money to support these people。这个句子刚出来，就让人恶心，就是对于关心这个问题的人，总有机会。完全是从中文逻辑搬过来的。不要再喋喋不休加废话了，你要说的无非就是志愿者慈善家会帮助这些人。

进一步润色/换一种说法

I recognize the importance of extending a helping hand to those in need beyond our own borders. Across the globe, countless individuals face poverty and disadvantage, with even the wealthiest cities seeing their share of homelessness and begging. It is for this reason that many volunteers and philanthropists dedicate their resources towards providing assistance to the most vulnerable people in the world.

词汇量少如何写好雅思作文 为什么雅思老师废话都那么多